The CoCreate Podcast

Manifest It With Joi Yvette Ivey

August 21, 2020 Nicole Salvatore Season 1 Episode 2
The CoCreate Podcast
Manifest It With Joi Yvette Ivey
Chapters
00:01:02
Meet Joi
00:02:32
The Origin of My Venacular (Stoked, Jawn, and Wooder)
00:03:15
Where Manifest Joiously Began
00:05:19
The Bigger Vision For Joiously
00:08:00
Has This Always Been The Path (Choosing The Way We Help)
00:09:02
Putting The Journey To Paper
00:10:03
Sheep Counting Is Not An Entrepreneurial Endeavor. We Count Dollars.
00:11:28
You Don't Get Any Points For Doing It The Hard Way
00:13:38
Take A Bridge Instead of Wading Through
00:14:32
The Moment Of Commitment
00:14:50
My Mom Has An iWatch (A Story)
00:16:26
How Joi Navigates Recovering Perfectionism
00:17:23
The Seventh Iteration Is Perfect and Perfectly Okay
00:18:09
Timing Can Look Like ... From a Distance
00:18:32
CoCreating With Clients
00:19:33
Replace x With y
00:19:56
Love-Motivated Parenting
00:20:00
I Can Create
00:20:45
Trying To Make Fetch Happen
00:21:42
What Does CoCreation By Replacement Look Like For Parents
00:22:04
Sounds Fantastic, Sounds Like Work
00:22:56
Holding On Or Releasing What No Longer Serves You
00:23:32
That Parenting Guidebook That Doesn't Exist
00:24:32
Stories At The Bar
00:25:00
Parenting Narratives To Let Go
00:25:58
Releasing Fear-Driven Parenting
00:28:31
Get Creative With Joi
00:30:26
Allowing, Commitment, Conscious Compartmentalization, and a Cosmic Menu
00:32:04
Celebrate All Along The Way
00:33:27
When I Have X I will Y
00:34:52
The Grind, Bandaids, and Medicine Vs. Wellness
00:36:36
I Get To Choose
00:37:23
Give This Thought The Time of Day
00:38:16
"What Do You Want?" -Natalie Miller
00:38:40
Caveated Wants
00:39:43
Do It My Way? Oh Yeah.
00:40:07
Integrity With The Universe
00:41:15
How To Connect With Joi
The CoCreate Podcast
Manifest It With Joi Yvette Ivey
Aug 21, 2020 Season 1 Episode 2
Nicole Salvatore

Joi Yvette Ivey has most recently served 10 years as a high performing professional of the health insurance industry and truly enjoys serving others from her best self. During her current career, Joi earned a Master of Jurisprudence in Health Law from Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She is very passionate about sharing her experiences and how her story shaped her for the success that she manifested previously and those that she is currently creating. 

Manifesting Joiously is Joi’s eponymous passion project, a guide for other single parents, a community, and a manner of living that supports other single-parent families. Joi was born and reared in Chicago, Illinois. 

She is a successful, joyful, and sustained single mom of two glorious daughters who take her breath away each day. The newest addition to Joi’s loving family is a not so fierce Goldendoodle named Milo Juice.

In our interview Joi and I talked about everything from parenting to letting go of unhelpful narratives, to our experiences as recovering perfectionists and I'm sure her journey and her wisdom will resonate with you.

If you resonated with Joi's message and mission, you can reach her here:
Instagram: Joiyvette_thebrand
Email: Joiyvette@manifestingjoiously.co

Join Joi's  free Facebook community: 

Ask Joi questions, make requests/suggestions, and engage! 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2649441785303192


Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Joi Yvette Ivey has most recently served 10 years as a high performing professional of the health insurance industry and truly enjoys serving others from her best self. During her current career, Joi earned a Master of Jurisprudence in Health Law from Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She is very passionate about sharing her experiences and how her story shaped her for the success that she manifested previously and those that she is currently creating. 

Manifesting Joiously is Joi’s eponymous passion project, a guide for other single parents, a community, and a manner of living that supports other single-parent families. Joi was born and reared in Chicago, Illinois. 

She is a successful, joyful, and sustained single mom of two glorious daughters who take her breath away each day. The newest addition to Joi’s loving family is a not so fierce Goldendoodle named Milo Juice.

In our interview Joi and I talked about everything from parenting to letting go of unhelpful narratives, to our experiences as recovering perfectionists and I'm sure her journey and her wisdom will resonate with you.

If you resonated with Joi's message and mission, you can reach her here:
Instagram: Joiyvette_thebrand
Email: Joiyvette@manifestingjoiously.co

Join Joi's  free Facebook community: 

Ask Joi questions, make requests/suggestions, and engage! 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2649441785303192


Nicole Salvatore :

Welcome to the CO create podcast. I'm your host Nicole Salvatore, a beach bum and aspiring dog mom who left her windowless office job to start a copywriting business. I said hell no to burnout and now I spend my days connecting with amazing women, many of them copywriters, just like meat for creating businesses, they don't crave a break. And that's exactly what we're going to help you do on this podcast. Help you co create amazing experiences with your clients and design a life that's nothing short of stellar will welcome copywriters, creators and straight up inspiring women as they share their sparks of insight or go to marketing and the mindset shifts that mattered most to them and their business. So whether you're looking for those business strategies you can put into action right away, where you just need a kick ass pep talk from someone. You'll feel right at home here and I can't wait to help you and your business. Joy Yvette IV has most recently served 10 years as a high performing professional of the health insurance industry and truly enjoy serving others from her best self. During her current career, Joy earned a master of jurisprudence in health law from Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She's a very passionate person sharing her experiences on how her story shaped her for the success that she manifested previously and those that she is currently creating. manifesting joyously is Joy's ammonius passion project, a guide for other single parents, a community and a manner of living that supports other single parent families. Joy was born and reared in Chicago, Illinois. She's a successful, joyful and sustained single mom of two glorious daughters who take her breath away each day. The newest addition to Joy's loving family is that not so fierce goldendoodle named Milo juice. Oh my gosh. So for those of you who haven't had the privilege of meeting her yet joy is one of the most kind and encouraging people that I've met on my entrepreneurial journey so far. We're in a amazing group and amazing group today together, and I'm just so stoked and honored to have you on today. Joy. How are you? How are you doing?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

I am excellent. And I am stoked to be here, Nicole, so much for having me. I'm very excited and honored to be your guest today.

Nicole Salvatore :

Oh my gosh, of course I feel the exact same way and joy and I were talking offline about how people might be slightly confused about where I'm from based on the fact that I can say water john, and stoked in the same sentence. Like you were from Philly, but you sound like you walked off a beach which is fine. Right? I think that's that's kind of how we pick things up along the way, right?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes, absolutely.

Nicole Salvatore :

So So that's my own, you know tribulations for today. Mixed colloquialisms for those of you People that are listening right now enjoy and they're not yet familiar with the work that you do. And let's be honest guys, let's get on level here. Why Why not? Okay, so why and how did you end up creating manifest choice land? What does that look like for you right now?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes. Okay. So I created manifesting joyously as a result of living as a twice divorced woman and a single mom of two. I have two glorious daughters, who are young women now their age 24 and 20. So it's quite surreal that I have two daughters in their 20s. And I've been divorced twice, I dissolved two marriages within one decade. I can I can laugh about it now. And I've done quite a bit of work in terms of self development and growth. And at that time, though, are those points in my life I was lower vibrational, I felt like I deserved more and, and I knew that but I wasn't sure how to navigate this sacred path, right to find more joy and happiness and connection. And I've done that I've done this work for years and manifesting joyously is the result of me doing the work and wanting to share and actually give others other single parents the opportunity to manifest dreams and goals for their families.

Nicole Salvatore :

I love awesome. So now that you've had this, you know, you've made this big move and quite a few big moves, as you'd like kind of shown us in just that little piece. You've created this experience and this opportunity for other people to learn from your you know, your adventure, but also your challenges. What's the vision moving forward for manifesting choices And the work that you you want to continue to do in the world. What does the What does the vision look like that you're holding right now?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Hmm, I love this question. So manifesting joy asleep is a course. It is a four week intensive. However, it's also a community and everyone that engages in the community I label as a champion. So it's a course is community of champions, where we all come together and form this supportive group or cohort together, it's going to be this journey is going to be different for everyone. But there are primary principles that are shared and taught within the course. For example, the state of my family begins with me. And so it is imperative It is essential that we begin with mindset, beliefs, intention, setting intention, and giving attention to self love. In self development, and the emotional and mental, physical and spiritual health of the parent in the family, and so that's that's our three dimensional world, right or our, our human perspective. But I also included the divine within this course. And so that's where the manifestation comes from the mindset work setting that intention and giving attention to that which we desire. And so that's the vision. I also included within that divine component. I have a subject matter expert, that I am so grateful to say has partnered with me for the long term. He is a retired now but a 36 year veteran, practicing holistic pediatrics. Oh, wow. And so whether Yes, whether a parent has always been a single parent, or whether they are new on this path is sacred. journey, he is able to assist and guide and help to support that parent to make good decisions for their family.

Nicole Salvatore :

That's fantastic. So you kind of actually led me perfectly into my next question, which I appreciate sincerely, joy. I appreciate it. I look, sometimes these things work out sideways or sideways or worth it. Oh my god. So when when I think about the way that we kind of as business owners kind of set up the ways that we help, right, the way we organize the ways that we help. One of the things that comes up for me is, you know, my experience along this path a lot on this business owning journey has kind of changed the way I work and interact with my clients. And I'm wondering if there have been any shifts like that for you as you, you know, we're creating the course were there any other modalities that you tried out or has this always been the path

Joi Yvette Ivey :

I, I think this has always been the path I will share that you and I share a coach mentor friend in, in Rachael Rogers. And that's how you and I were connected. And so when I began to journey along, in my coursework with Rachel, studying my mindset and dispelling some of those beliefs, that that we held dear and didn't even weren't even conscious didn't even realize it. We weren't conscious of it. As I began to do that mindset work and break down those barriers. I think that it came to me really, what happened for me was I was working through one of one of our courses, intensely focused on mindset work, and I just couldn't sleep one night. I I began to journal and literally developed manifesting joy asleep. It was just me putting to paper, my journey, and what I wanted to share with others what I wish had been in place for me as a support, so I wouldn't have had to do the work in a more difficult way. So if that makes sense. So it's always been packaged this way for me, but it was getting it out of me and onto paper and then presented in a way that made sense to support others.

Nicole Salvatore :

Absolutely. Yeah, I think that's, I mean, I think there's probably a lot of people listening who were like, so that's what you're supposed to do when you can't sleep.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

That's what you're supposed to. You sure are, you're supposed to create a whole course and launch it within 45 days. Oh my gosh, in 45 days. Yes. From the time you put pen to paper, 45 days later, you better luck. That baby, get up.

Nicole Salvatore :

Get it done. Yeah. Yeah, no sheep counting is not is not an entrepreneurial endeavor, you know, we don't count, we we count dollars, let's go. Count impact because one of the things that as you were speaking that came through for me is like this concept of, I have this thing that is part of my journey that I'm going to share with you so that you can have not that nobody's advocating cheating, side note, no cheating, but like the cheat codes for, you know, for this part of what it can be a really challenging experience for a lot of parents and a lot of people, you know, so let's make this a little bit easier. But a thing again, to go back to your, you know, explanation of this. The thing that came through for me is and package it in a way that is helpful. And I think sometimes, as we have those sleepless nights when we create the thing and we're like this is the thing, that step is so crucial because it has to be able to resonate, connect, reflect and help somebody. Yeah, make this make this shift in this change because what you know, as a copywriter, this is like my thing I want to tell everybody but the transformation is where you can't get to connect and help people if they can see that, that there's a there's the forest for the trees scenario, but there's also like, Listen, you can get here, I am here you can get here. Here's how you can do it without as much I always like to say without any challenges, that's absurd. But like with cry as much struggle, bus life.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes, Yes, there is. There's a fellow shrimali in our group that often says and so what you just said made me think of it. She says you don't get any points for doing it the hard way, right. There are no extra points for doing it the hard way. And so that is so true. So We already know that this path I call it a sacred journey. This sacred journey of single parenthood is different for everyone. Everyone's circumstances are different. However, if I can share my journey and be transparent and it actually assist someone else if I can create for you a template, if you will. And now let's fill in the blanks with goals and dreams that are going to blow your mind once you reach them. Then I've done my job I have stepped into my divine calling.

Nicole Salvatore :

No, absolutely. And I think I think that's really the the thing that we all like are searching for really, maybe not everybody but like a lot of us are looking for that that opportunity to live that calling in a way that is, I want to say palatable, because not be palatable to everybody, but it's going to help someone and I think that's so, so pivotal for a lot of people like it's got to help someone and because it's your journey that they are learning from it's probably going to be people who you can as a as the person leading them right as the the Yoda adventure. Someone that you can say, that was me, but I'm gonna let you maybe like take a bridge across the river instead of like trying to walk through the water across the river.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes, yes, exactly, exactly. And that reminds me of a quote by Johann Wolfgang van kurta, Johann Wolfgang van kurta hit one of these quotes, it's a quote that really sticks out to me, it's at the moment of commitment, the entire universe conspires to assist you. So, that's exactly at what you said, If I can be the connection. That means if I can help that single parents To commit to making their life better for their family, changing the trajectory, rewriting the narrative, then at the moment of commitment, the entire universe conspires to assist you. I'm that help? Right. Everything else falls into place. It's such an awesome opportunity to connect with other humans.

Nicole Salvatore :

No, that's amazing. And, and to that point, you know, that moment of commitment, I think a lot of times, and this is something we were chatting about a bit off air. Sometimes that moment of commitment doesn't seem like such a big deal to us. It's sometimes feels like we have to do all the things first, and then we can feel good about doing the things like that recovering perfectionist. experience that I know, like, we we were, again, we were talking offline, but we're I was, I was telling joy that my my mom has an eyewash and I promise this is a story that's relevant to everyone. Not just to me and my my little family over here but my mom has an I watch him when she first got it not so much now she kind of got over it. Love you mom. But she kind of got over it and I was like, ma what's what's going on with the I watched and she was cold, I am closing all my circles, I got just the right amount of exercise. And I'm like, okay, and I realized in that moment and I know I don't know, if you've ever had a moment like this, where you kind of carefully create an experience crystallizes another experience from your life and I'm like, that is why I am a recovering circle closer I am a recovering perfectionist. I got just the right amount of exercise. I closed all my circles. And and I can and I the other pinpoint you know, in the math there is those more those evenings when I finished work for a client, and I haven't fully fleshed out the entire biography or something and I haven't Leaving until the next day. Oh, yes. So this recovering perfectionist within me sometimes sees that in other people and wants to help. I wonder if you can you can shed some light on what it what it's been like because I believe we both share this recovering perfectionist lifestyle. And what did you like for you to navigate that?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes, I have really had to learn. I've taught myself actually that it's okay that the task is not perfect, or that it's left to be done and continued another day I will live to see another day. I am definitely a recovering perfectionist. I perfect declarable manifesting joyously, I wrote and iterated iterated and five times. So this is what what was launched is version seven 7.2. Okay. And, uh, Hi. I am learning to close circles and perfectly and being okay with that. It's definitely a journey.

Nicole Salvatore :

Yeah, one I think too, when you were speaking about it being the seventh iteration and guess what? That's okay. That's okay. Not only Okay, that's probably better than when if you would have just pushed it out on day one. And we're like this is it. Enjoy people go forth. Go force people.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yes, definitely, definitely. And as I receive feedback, guess what? I'm going to iterate and I'm constantly recalibrating, and elevating and changing and adjusting. And so this course is really owned by my community. So guess what, don't be more changes. And we'll we'll make them right Time in time, they'll be right on time.

Nicole Salvatore :

Absolutely. And that's the other thing is to trust that timing because that timing can look like a bastard from a distance you're like why Yes.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Why?

Nicole Salvatore :

things why both of us are big on the idea of CO creating. And you know I am my woo is just this idea of like having the the collaborative experience with a client or the collaborative experience with a community be in service to that client or that community but also, I ended up having this amazing experience as well. So I was wondering what it looks like for you to be co creating with the people in your community or your clients and what that looks like for those of us who aren't maybe you super well versed in what manifestation looks like? I was wondering if you could kind of connect the two or tell us the difference there.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Huh? Love that co creating. So I am essentially supporting others to replace fear, doubt, confusion with love, and confidence and clarity. And that is definitely a co created experience because I'm a teacher who also learns the course was based on my life's experiences and research that I've done and work that I've done to actually ensure that I am healthy, and that my parenting of my daughters was love motivated and not fear driven. It was heart centered and full of stability. I was normalizing stability for my family. And so, with that being said, I'm constantly learning now that I'm teaching that which I have I have not mastered but I've gotten to a point where I've got this, and I can manifest what I desire I can create, and I'm confident in going for. And so now I'm sharing that with others and helping to support them on their journey and stealing that and others. It's definitely co creative.

Nicole Salvatore :

Absolutely. And I think that that co creation that you were referencing, you know, I always I always feel like am I stretch? Am I trying to make fetch happen? Am I stretching this word? Beyond beyond what it is but I don't think that I am because when you were speaking in you were talking about replacing x with y right, replacing fear with with love and empowerment and and stability. Yes, that is. That is for so many people. It feels like a long shot, but it is the I won't I won't say only way there are business zillion ways to do things. That's a technical number guys check my math. But there are so many ways to do to do that work. And yet, there is only one way that's probably going to be best suited for each person, each person that does that work. And so Exactly, yeah, so so that co creation of replacement, what does that tend to look like for your clients? Have you had examples that kind of drive that point home of that replacement? Like what would that look like for a parent who might be listening to us and when as a single parent wondering like, Okay, that sounds lovely joy, but what is that going to look like for me? Because, because to play devil's advocate, if it sounds fantastic, and it also sounds like it's going to take work. Yes. So I wonder what the investment is and what the outcome is in your mind.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Absolutely. So it does sound fantastic, and it does not feel fantastic. So you're absolutely correct. It looks like releasing what no longer serves you. And so if we just sit with that for a moment, that is the most difficult thing for people to do releasing what no longer serves them, they know that they are embarking on this new journey, or they have this new experience in front of them. But they're holding on to so much there. There's so many reasons why a person is a single parent. And so again, back to that individual, that that very different journey for everyone. So it looks like releasing what no longer serves you. It does not always feel good. There will be times through this experience and through this journey where you do really feel good and you should celebrate. I encourage all of my classes To celebrate every little win, celebrate often and all the time, allowing love to permeate. But that doesn't always feel good. Because when you're rearing children let me just share that that guidebook that doesn't exist. Yeah, there is no guidebook for rearing children. So again, you have to begin with yourself. The state of your family begins with you. And that's why I am constantly recalibrating, and guiding my fellow champions to constantly recalibrate, change and elevate their narrative or their story and to normalize stability and that is work. That sucks spending quite a bit of energy to invest in another human being to ensure that they are emotionally and physically and spiritually stable and productive members of society.

Nicole Salvatore :

Absolutely. And to your point about that narrative, I wonder what I wonder how you've seen these these narrative shifts either in your own life or in your clients life. So I think the stories that we continue to tell ourselves continue to, like, hang out with us. And like pull up a chair at the bar for us. Absolutely. Stick with us, even if to your earlier point, even if we know they're no good for us, right? It's the F boy boyfriend, right? Yes. Like, yeah, he chats no good, but like, I don't know. But he's here,

Joi Yvette Ivey :

but He's here. He's right.

Nicole Salvatore :

Yeah, so what what narrative? If someone's listening and they're, like me, I'm not I'm new to this idea of manifestation. What, what narratives Do we have to let go of what are some common narratives that you see if there are any that needs to be let go of in order for for these big changes, these big shifts to happen?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Sure. One narrative is my parents raised me this way, and I'm going to raise my children the same exact way. There's nothing wrong with that. And they're very well, maybe not. Not necessarily that we're in a different time. But what was good for your child rearing may not have been the best belief system for you to adopt. And so in releasing that and doing what's best, most, most parents, they're not most but there have been a lot of parents who have raised children out of fear, right? I don't want my child to do this. I don't want my child in this type of trouble. I don't want to see this reality for my child. So so that can be fear driven. You don't have to condition a child to behave in a specific manner. There are unhealthy and healthy limits. And so you don't have to fear it's not fear based parenting that you have to instill. There's, there's a love motivated parenting that you do for the child what he or she can't do, or is unwilling to do for himself. And that's one just one example of parenting that needs to be released in in many instances.

Nicole Salvatore :

No, absolutely. And I think that that differentiation, like I just imagined my mom trying to raise my brother in the same manner that she raised me, I just and we're not even that far apart, right? But we are, we're four years and you know, as a infj, and as an introvert, I would say a brother who does not love you, Johnny is just like a manifesto. Thank you to my my amazing family, but but my brother is like fantastic, but he's very outgoing. And I just imagined my mom trying to have the same parenting style with each of us, because that's the way it's supposed to be, you know, and just holding on to that would never have worked. I don't think anyway.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yeah, that's so much.

Nicole Salvatore :

You know, but I wonder how, as, as we kind of think about our own practices like in our homes, and even with our own businesses, when it comes to creating our reality. And however you come at that, whether it's by using the word manifestation or something, some other way of explaining that for a lot of people who own businesses or want to, I think that creating that reality for yourself requires that letting go of those narratives, like like we just spoke about, and it also requires and tell me if I'm off base, but like, it also in my mind requires us to take space to get creative in our own right, to give ourselves that space. So how so I guess for those who are looking to you and and They're like joy help us out with this. What does it look like for you to create that space for creativity in your life? How have you made that space happen? I know I know, as a mom, it's doubly tough, right? But what does that look like for you to get creative? In your week in your day? You know, how does that how does that show up for you?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Sure. Yeah. So basic principles, I believe that there are infinite, infinite varieties of options. I believe that I have the choice to not only decide so the difference between a decision and a commitment there is a difference there. And the difference is that with a decision, you can change your mind with a commitment. You've sent a vibration to the universe that this is going to happen. That this is my unequivocal intention that I am unwavering. And so for me that creative expression is me embracing that there are umpteen is that a number of opportunities or variations that that I can choose from. And I just know that by keeping my vibration high, I can I can access I have access to whichever, whichever opportunity is possible for me, whichever is the best outcome for me Everything is possible and because there are endless possibilities, I get to choose an outcome I get to choose how I feel, and then the best possible outcome is presented to me,

Nicole Salvatore :

and that's awesome. So, so it really is kind of like this allowing right of allowing these things to come because that you've committed to making Other things happen. Does that make that kind of where it is?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Absolutely. Yes, absolutely conscious compartmentalization, a cosmic menu. Some have described it as I embrace that where, Yes, I understand that there's risk. There's risk every day when I get out of bed, there's risk, but there's also reward. And so yes, I get to choose those possibilities.

Nicole Salvatore :

Absolutely. And I think that's the other thing too, that when we talk about being, to use your name, being like, joyful, right being joyful people, right, because because when we think about being creative, some people think, you know, Edgar Allan Poe hiding in like the attic of, you know, hiding and, and writing these, these, this prose or Emily Dickinson never coming out of her home or you know, blues writers just just on a gun just kind of just sitting there and strumming or playing the piano and just kind of alone. I think that this this creative energy can happen there. I mean, it does, obviously, you know, you just need to, you know, you just need to read some literature or listen to some music to know that it does happen in those quiet spaces. But it also happens in our lives. And I think that to live joyfully, and to live creatively, we have to, I always, always hesitate to use or have to, but we can, we can give ourselves that space to say, I'm committing to this thing and it's going to happen. And while it does, that does not mean and to steel, steel align, it doesn't mean that I don't get to enjoy right now. Right to enjoy to enjoy whatever it is that goes on right now, even if it gets a little messy. Exactly. Exactly. And that act. Absolutely. And that is why I celebrate all along the way. I'm not I'm not even well. I'm close. I'm Closer

Joi Yvette Ivey :

but I'm going to say that I'm not even close to my fullest potential. I'm not even close to where where I want to be right. And that is not always measured. I'm not talking about money right? It is monetary. We're always focused there, but it's in the entire scope of my life. So absolutely you celebrate every step of the way. Even even when it is messy, because it will be

Nicole Salvatore :

one I think too that sometimes what we what we don't get to hear from other people. I mean, now I think it's better than it used to be but when, when I was first starting out, I saw all these people doing all these amazing things and then also sipping my ties and Champagne by a pool, you know, g Gz style, but, but it can be that way it can it can flow. It can be easy, right? We know that the great Rachel Rogers lined to work hard once, right? Yes. Once that that's that's the key word. But also, I mean, I do this and I'm super guilty. That's why I'm kind of bringing it up for you because I always like to get someone else's perspective on it. I was one of those people who would say, when I have x i will feel why, right, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, I love my list. I used to own lists of things. As soon as I complete this list of 50 things, then then I'll be happy. Yes. As soon as my credit card is paid off. And the kids are in, you know, Harvard. Yeah. And Timmy becomes an astrophysicist like Neil deGrasse Tyson and like, all these things, then, then I you know, I get to have fun Wondering how I survived all of that? If I'm even the same person who has fun in the same way, by that, yeah, I wonder how that how that shows up. If that shows up, I shouldn't say how but if that shows up for you, or if you've kind of navigated that and how you've done that,

Joi Yvette Ivey :

yes. So we, that's so speaks to the culture that we live in that undervalues wellness, and that values working hard and the grind the grind, oh my gosh, that term just kills me. We value band aids in medicine, we don't value wellness. And when I say that, I mean, that journey along the way. Yes, you do get to be if you choose to be you get to be happy. You get to enjoy the journey every step of the way. And it can be easy, because it's it's a choice. It's a mindset, and so you can't just do BO, what's the term Pollyanna and and ignorantly choosing to be ignorantly unaware of the realities of a situation? No, I'm not suggesting that at all. But I am suggesting and strongly supporting that. Yes, you do get a choice. You get to set boundaries, you get to decide how you feel about a particular scenario and where you want to be next, how do you want to navigate this and handle it? And so for me, that does look like releasing what no longer serves me with ease and grace. See you later. Bye bye. It's no it's not working. See, whoa, hey, I've got to elevate this story. I've got to make a change. And it it also speaks to surrendering, because I don't always know what the next step is. I don't know. But once you release what does it serve you any longer guess what the next step will appear it will when it when you're ready, it will present itself. And that's the beauty of this of this journey of being able to be guided through by love through this journey.

Nicole Salvatore :

Pure point like I think the one thing that that you hit on everything, obviously amazing being amazing, equally amazing. But oh the things that one of the things you hit on was this idea of like, I get to choose how I feel. And I sometimes think and I say this with love that it can be a cop out to say you made me feel or this situation made me feel and part of our that journey that you were speaking about is to say I don't know what's next to your point, of course. I don't know what's next. But I get to pick for the most part the feelings that I want to have. Where other feelings come up. Oh my gosh. Oh, their feelings will like whack me in the head but Get to work my way to the feelings that I want to have by the thoughts that I give myself the time to think like I'm going to give this thought the time of day and not this one. This one I'm not going to give the time of day to

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And so other people yes to your point, other people can impact your your vibration. Divorce is not pretty the death of another parent or a spouse. It is not it's not pretty. This is not something that you should look to run and embrace. However, yes, you get to choose how do you move beyond that? How do you move past this? What is next? What is next? How do you make progress through through life?

Nicole Salvatore :

Right and what is what do I want to be next? And what would it feel Natalie Miller like? What do you

Joi Yvette Ivey :

want? What do you want right now?

Nicole Salvatore :

because well, because I, I don't know if you've ever had this experience, I would I would ask the caveated version of that, which is not even that, right. I'm being kind to myself, it's not really the same question. And I would be like, Well, what do I want? And then I would answer that question and I'd be like, but that might make Timmy Joe, Sally, all these random, white and red names I just made up, they will feel uncomfortable, right? It'll make them feel super uncomfortable. Do I still want it and that's the wrong I'm outing myself. Right. That's the wrong friggin question to ask. But that's right. Honestly, that's the question I used to ask was like, What do I want? Okay, cool. I would like this, you know, it could be something as simple as like the cheese steak order. Okay, well, my mom, like onions. So like, we're not going to get cheese steaks with onions or you know, I mean, so I took the cheese steak analogy aside, I wonder if it makes sense to you or if you've seen this play out from Other people to that they asked, What do I want question and then they add the, the sort of like the the high school outline of like, but also this and not this because this makes this person feel a lot and then by the end, do they actually have a list of things that they want? I wonder if that happens in your in your experience or it has happened in your life in any way?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Oh, absolutely. asking myself what I want and then doing it my way without considering another person's opinion. Oh, yeah, that I that I've had to get to that is an area of ever evolving growth. Right? Because, because that that should be the goal. What do I want? I'm going to do it my way. What brings me into integrity with the universe? Right? Those should be the questions that I focus on and am divinely Lead by, however, we are constantly interrupted. Okay, what do I want? Oh, well, I have to consider, okay, well, doing it my way will hurt or step on the toes. No, it should be What do I want? I'm doing it my way. And this is what brings me into integrity with the universe. And so now my energetic vibration is along the path that's best for my, my divine path. Right, my journey and and this is how we evolve and grow as human beings and help others have a life full of love. Absolutely.

Nicole Salvatore :

So yeah, so I mean, and I think that ties beautifully into the work that you do, right? Yes, that just kind of brought us all the way back like brought us full circle and that's amazing. So I'm definitely I'm definitely going to include a link to your free Facebook group. which everybody should join if they find themselves living a single parent life, right?

Joi Yvette Ivey :

You Yes, absolutely. Yes.

Nicole Salvatore :

So that'll be in the show notes, everybody. Oh, yeah. And you're building a welcoming community, which I think is amazing for that group of people who are obviously going through a lot and navigating it, hopefully not on their own for very much longer. So but if you could let everyone know how else to find you, aside from the Facebook group, that's going to be in the show notes, any other places they can find your ways they can get in touch with you, that would be awesome.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

Absolutely. So I am on Instagram as well. And my handle is a joy, Yvette a brand. So it's JIYV tt e underscore the brand on Igy and you'll see my picture of air and manifesting joyously on that. page and then also you can email me My email address is joy Eve at at manifesting joy Asli. Got CO and joy again is spelt with an eye. So it's eponymous Li named manifesting joyously. My eponymous passion project, Joy event at manifesting joyously, CO is my email address. Awesome. Yes. Thank you.

Nicole Salvatore :

Awesome. Thank you so much joy, head over to the link in the show notes. And you'll be able to connect in all those ways that joy just gave you with her. And again, joy. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. And I can't wait till we have another awesome conversation about this. I really appreciate it. Nicole. Thank you.

Joi Yvette Ivey :

It's been my pleasure. You are such a gracious host. Thank you for the invitation.

Nicole Salvatore :

Yep, thank you. If you resonate it with Joy's interview today and the work that she's doing in the world. You can connect with her in her free Facebook group, ask question Make the class and just engage with other single parents on this amazing journey. It's sometimes challenging, but always rewarding. And find all that information and all the ways to connect with joy in the show notes for today's episode, and in the meantime, guys, stay stellar and I'll see you soon

Meet Joi
The Origin of My Venacular (Stoked, Jawn, and Wooder)
Where Manifest Joiously Began
The Bigger Vision For Joiously
Has This Always Been The Path (Choosing The Way We Help)
Putting The Journey To Paper
Sheep Counting Is Not An Entrepreneurial Endeavor. We Count Dollars.
You Don't Get Any Points For Doing It The Hard Way
Take A Bridge Instead of Wading Through
The Moment Of Commitment
My Mom Has An iWatch (A Story)
How Joi Navigates Recovering Perfectionism
The Seventh Iteration Is Perfect and Perfectly Okay
Timing Can Look Like ... From a Distance
CoCreating With Clients
Replace x With y
Love-Motivated Parenting
I Can Create
Trying To Make Fetch Happen
What Does CoCreation By Replacement Look Like For Parents
Sounds Fantastic, Sounds Like Work
Holding On Or Releasing What No Longer Serves You
That Parenting Guidebook That Doesn't Exist
Stories At The Bar
Parenting Narratives To Let Go
Releasing Fear-Driven Parenting
Get Creative With Joi
Allowing, Commitment, Conscious Compartmentalization, and a Cosmic Menu
Celebrate All Along The Way
When I Have X I will Y
The Grind, Bandaids, and Medicine Vs. Wellness
I Get To Choose
Give This Thought The Time of Day
"What Do You Want?" -Natalie Miller
Caveated Wants
Do It My Way? Oh Yeah.
Integrity With The Universe
How To Connect With Joi